Cops Investigate ‘Armed Cat’ Holding a ‘Rifle’; Turns Out to be a Stick


“We live in such a dangerous society that we never know when terror will strike…”

At least, that must be what Newport, Oregon police thought went through the mind of the concerned citizen who snapped the above photo when they took to Facebook apparently worried that a cat sniper with a rifle was stalking the streets of Newport earlier this week.

Notice the department’s post says “reports” — as in, more than one report.

Yes. Cats with rifles.

No opposable thumbs, but… rifles.

Apparently the cat was given a verbal warning.

(The sad part is, if this was a real 9-1-1 call, no one at TDS would even be surprised.)

Contributed by The Daily Sheeple of

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2 Responses to Cops Investigate ‘Armed Cat’ Holding a ‘Rifle’; Turns Out to be a Stick

  1. Meg says:

    Cats are smarter than some humans I know.

  2. Jay Dillon says:

    It doesn’t matter what it is. It can be “construed as a weapon,” and the cat knows this full well. Believe me, I’ve seen how these felines “game the system,” and it ain’t pretty.

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