A Muslim, An Illegal Alien, and a Communist Walk Into a Bar…The Bartender Says “Hello Mr. President”

eaglebirdI haven’t allowed myself to take off on a good rant in awhile and that is what I intend to do tonight. If you are looking for journalistic integrity or political correctness, please read something else. I need to blow off a little steam.

It’s late. I’m tired and it’s time for some D.C. Clothesline “old school.” I never intended to be taken seriously as any kind of journalist. I’m just a guy who got together with some friends to start a little blog so we could VENT.

I love my country and like any Red White and Blue-Blooded Patriotic American I like to voice my opinions and if people want to listen that’s fine, if not…well at least I get some things off my chest.

The difference between now and 5 months ago is that I actually have readers so I will disperse with the “sailor talk” and try to keep this PG-Rated. Just know in your heart that if I could get by with cussing up a storm now that I certainly would. Let’s look at what has happened just within the last week or so.

moneylaunderingThere is a story surfacing now that says that The Obama Administration is going to be giving various government spy organization access to our financial records.  Hey Barack, if they see all zeroes by my name that is not a typo. That’s the real number. Now if suddenly I get a $5 donation on my blog that doesn’t mean that I am raising funds as part of a terrorist movement. That’s your department Mr. President. I don’t fund terrorists. What it means is that one of my friends decided to buy me a Big Gulp since they are again legal in New York. Now all I need is some gas money to get there.

This week I learned that you can fight for your country and be prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice, but that no soldierstudentlonger qualifies you for any college tuition help. Obama wants to make this sequester hurt like the broken pinky toe on my right foot.

The broken toe is Bush’s fault I know. He is also the one who destroyed this economy. It didn’t have anything to do with the richest banks in America knowing that they can do anything they want with our money because they are “untouchable.” If they fail again we just print more monopoly money. They have bet the entire financial future of America on derivatives. If I were smart enough to know what that meant, you better believe I would be more than a little angry. But you have dumbed me down to the point where…well I’m too stupid to finish that sentence so I will just say…baaaaaaaaaaaaah. Power to the sheeple.

Oh yeah, so back to the military men and women and their lack of funding for college. A bunch of whackos in Colorado started colorado-marijuanasmoking a  little herb, in their free time, and thought it was a good idea to make it easier for illegal immigrants to pay for their college education. So when the Chinese invade I suppose their military will go to school for free while our soldiers aren’t allowed to shoot them on campus. That’s how it works in Colorado now. Guns are bad. M’Kay?

In the victory column for freedom this week we can have large sodas in New York. Liberals say that our bodies are our business and use this excuse to kill 3 million babies a year, but a large soda is just wrong. As our friend Allen West would say… Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Mr. President I know you have no military experience other than being Commandant-in-Chief so I will spell that out for you. WTF? That means “Where’s The Fat Women?”

Oh yeah, we spent like 1.5 million to get to the secrets of why lesbians are fat. You know why they are fat? They are fat for the same reason I am fat…because they like cheeseburgers and don’t have to impress any man who would judge them on their girlish figure. If I had a man I’d try to slim down a little but I don’t so that’s that. I like cheeseburgers. I also like very large carbonated beverages with those burgers. It’s dangerous to not have a large drink with a burger. Grease fires have been proven to make people spontaneously combust. It’s a fact. I found it on Al Gorezeera.

There’s a new video going around that shows documentation of containment camps. It’s no coincidence that tens of fema-camp-restricted-areathousands of illegal immigrants, many of whom were violent criminals, were just released from containment. They are clearing room for people like me. I expect the enrollment to be up at the University of Colorado at Boulder next fall. Word is spreading with these recently released inmates that college is cheaper and that the law-abiding students will not be carrying guns on campus.

Our buddies at the Southern Poverty Law Center called me a terrorist a few days ago. This kind of hurt my feelings. I had a $5 check written out to them and ripped it up. The fact that the check was going to bounce does not matter. It’s the thought that counts. That’s how we do things in America. I learned that from my government.

I saw some information this week about The Obama Administration sharing NASA secrets with the Chinese. I just wonder what those secrets are. It used to be a crime to sell secrets to the Chinese. But Obama is smart. He used to be a lawyer before he voluntarily gave up his license for the good of mankind. See, Obama knows that selling secrets to the Chinese is a crime but giving them away is perfectly fine. Lawyers are sneaky like that. That’s why we need these guys and gals in all the top offices of the land…so they can find the loopholes.

defundobToday I read a press release from my homeboy Ted Cruz down in Texas. Evidently the defunding of Obamacare went well. Every republican voted for it and every democrat voted against it. That’s a shock. It really is. All I can figure is that McCain and company must have found Boehner’s stash and were too drunk to vote Democrat. That’s understandable. As a former drunk I can tell you that sometimes I got a little confused. As for Boehner…I will do a little more research. I think I can probably tie Boehner to the Puerto Rican rum producers if I dig deep enough. From what I understand he single-handedly keeps many of them in business.

Hey Mr. Obama what’s this deal about closing the White House to the public? I realize that you might like to run around in your boxers once in awhile and you might want to have some of your  friends over for some special male bonding. That’s understandable but for the love of all that’s good please keep that sort of behavior confined to the oval office. Even Bill Clinton had the decency to do that. I don’t care about your sick and twisted fetishes, but I need to know that if I need a place to crash that OUR house is open to me. Because with this economy I may be needed a place to crash really soon. It would just be for a few days until I get back on my feet.

To be honest I haven’t managed my finances very well lately. Maybe you should take away my gun privileges like you and D.C.’s finest did with 125,000 veterans who are still getting letters that they are evidently not even qualified to read. If they are so mentally unaware that they can’t manage their own affairs how can you expect them to understand provisions of the Brady Act? Yeah, I know, that one didn’t happen this week. Some things just sit inside of me and fester though. That one is not going away. Disrespect to an American Veteran is high treason in my book. I don’t care what the law says. In this country we don’t follow the laws anyway, so if I want to call it high treason then I am entitled to that interpretation. I feel that every single senator who voted (unanimously) for this provision should lose their job. I’d probably make a few of them eligible for “rehire” but you just don’t take that right away without due process. What part of “shall not be infringed” do you people not understand?

benghazicloudAnd what about Benghazi? Where are all of these survivors and why can’t we talk to them? Mr. President some things are not going to die. You can give us so many new stories and political spins in a week that we forget about half of the stuff that happened two weeks ago, but the stories that matter most will not be forgotten.

I will not back down Mr. Obama. I will ride you until your spirit is broken. I will continue to educate Americans about what you have done and what you are doing and I will do it with no regard for fair play or “journalistic integrity.” Mr. President I am not a journalist. If I were I might gladly take that big CNN Gubmint check to keep me silent. I don’t have the mad skills that would put me with the elite wordsmiths of this world. I am a blogger. I’m an average Joe that knows how to talk to people and that Mr. President is your worst nightmare.

Bloggers don’t have to be politically correct and we don’t have to play by any set of rules that the journalistic establishment does. In other words, we don’t have to lie to keep our jobs. We don’t write to pump anyone up and many of us have no real agenda. My agenda is simply to expose everyone who is destroying my country. It’s a pretty long list.

You can’t pay us off and we will keep coming after you, day after day after day. We will not submit to your rule. We will not join your mass orgies of the sheeples. We will stand our ground and tell the truth which is something that you know nothing about.

omanGo look in the Obamunist Manifesto and see what it says about countering the truth. Whatever it might say is wrong. The good people of this country use a different book of reference and it’s called The Holy Bible.

You may want to do a little refresher on the story of David and Goliath. If you don’t have a Bible then just borrow John Brennan’s Quran. I’m no expert on Islam but surely there is a story in there about the underdog rising up to beat the oppressive giant. If there are no stories like that then I apologize. I don’t need to be on any Al Qaeda kill lists and I certainly wouldn’t want to violate the secret UN resolutions that you are trying to push through…yeah we know about the UN resolutions that violate free speech.

People are waking up and that is exactly what is going to happen in the United States of America. David will rise up and defeat Goliath again. I am so confident of this fact that I will pledge my life for the restoration of freedom in America.

In my country we have something called a constitution and upon a few quick reference checks it appears that you might be in violation of it Mr. Obama. Somebody get Orly Taitz on the phone for me. It’s go time.

It’s 3AM and Orly is probably tucked away in her cozy bed. I feel better now so I think I will follow suit. In the old days I ranted and ranted and that’s how I got rid of some of the anger toward the Obama-Nation Occupation. It feels good. If the original 10 people who followed me way back in November want to read my insanity, and the rest go on their merry way, then that’s OK. I wouldn’t want thousands of people to see the real me. That would be embarrassing. LOL

molon labeMaybe I will make the next one a little more focused and serious to try to save face. All I know is, that no matter what happens, we must not let the second amendment fall. Imagine how crazy it would be if we didn’t have 300 million guns in this country. The government is already tyrannical. Without those guns I shudder to think what things would be like.

Anyway I gotta get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Molon Labe!

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About Dean Garrison 1315 Articles
Keep it simple. I believe in God, Family and Country (in that order). I am the publihser at www.dcclothesline.com and www.dcdirtylaundry.com.