Richard Willard Armour, an American writer of humor and satire, wrote a parody history of the United States entitled It All Started With Columbus. He subtitled it A Merry Mangling of American History from Columbus to Nixon. In it, he recounted American history in the manner of the old “Fractured Fairy Tales” cartoons that used to appear on TV. He filled the book with many cockeyed interpretations of the events of history, giving them the twist of a kid whose understanding was skewed by a pervasive, even an invasive, sense of humor, as though the events themselves were far less important than their funny interpretation. Sometimes I think that what is happening today, if it weren’t so dire and horrible, would actually fit Mr. Armour’s style of narrative.
It won’t of course, because we are in a seriously bad way today. But a lot of people don’t go deep enough in assigning blame for our desperate situation. Our tendency in the Right is to blame Obama for all our ills, but these ills have much deeper roots. I don’t know whether I got all of them here, but I am going to try to give a rough outline of them as I see them.
Our present state of ruin didn’t begin six years ago, although that is the period during which we have seen the most radical, rapid change. It really began in the early decades of the 20th Century, when the republican principles on which this country was founded were slowly stolen through corruptions in language that led to corruptions in concept and eventually in policy.
Teddy Roosevelt probably started it when he founded a third party to run against both Republicans and Democrats. He called it the Progressive Party and imbued it with principles of populism, which was nothing more than a kind of watered down Democratic Socialism. There was nothing progressive about it, because it did not lead our country forward, but loosed the moorings of our foundation through populist collectivism.
Wilson followed with his inane belief in one-world government and eternal pacifism at all cost. But he was forced to enter World War I, which would have ended earlier had the US entered in 1914 instead of 1917. In 1916 came the Jekyll Island conspiracy to take over the currency and banking of the US and establish what J.P. Morgan referred to as “managed competition.” This meant that true laissez fair capitalism, upon which the American economy was founded, was dead. They formed the Federal Reserve, a private corporation that now dictates all monetary and fiscal policy.
Next came Hoover, the first real RINO, defeated in 1932 by Roosevelt, the megalomaniac Democrat who reigned in the White House for 3 ½ terms. He took us off the gold standard and set the tone for the greedy politicians who followed, because he showed them how the public could be manipulated to gain power. He established the first major program of the dole, Social Security, which was not an investment trust as it should have been, but a slush fund that is regularly raided, thus perpetually broke. It may not be there in another 30 years!
In 1952, after a rank politician, Harry Truman, protected Communists in government because they belonged to the Democratic Party, we got Eisenhower, a sort-of conservative Republican, whose VP was Richard Nixon. Nixon was pelted with stones and garbage in South America, a signal of things to come. Eisenhower invited Marshall Zhukov, the premier general of our arch enemy the Communist USSR for a friendly visit to the White House.
Ike was followed by John F. Kennedy, a sort-of-conservative Democrat who ran to the right of Nixon on certain policies, but got us into war in Viet Nam. Contrary to common trends of worship, I felt no loss when Kennedy was assassinated, except that I disprove of public assassinations in general.
In Kennedy’s wake came the biggest crook ever to sit in the White House, Lyndon Johnson, the racist, who used the “N” word with glee at every chance. He signed the 1964 Civil Rights legislation, but only did so to garner and ensure black votes. Johnson was recorded on a tape saying, “I’ll have those niggers voting Democrat for the next 200 years.” He created the cancer of welfare on the federal level, a cancer that has metastasized over the past 40 years among black women, (called AFDC) creating legions of illegitimate children and generations of mothers on welfare who dishonestly drain the paychecks of working people.
Johnson was followed by the prototypical of the modern RINO, Richard Nixon, the would-be reincarnation of Roosevelt. Nixon ran to the left of Kennedy in 1960. That ought to have warned voters. Nixon expanded Johnson’s destructive policies. He did so at the advice of a notorious drunken pontificator, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a Democrat who believed the US needed a privileged political class. If you don’t believe me, ask his best friend George Will.
After that, it was a rapid slide to the left with dual imbeciles Ford and Carter, who may well have been the same person, except for their difference in height. We had a brief respite from leftism with Reagan, who brought us the return of Feudalism instead, creating a new American class of Billionaires.
After Reagan we were stuck with George H.W. Bush, a useless fool, but the only alternative to Michael Dukakis, a Carter clone. George H.W. Bush jumps out of an airplane every birthday, but he can’t even get that right, because he always uses a parachute.
After him came profound indecency of the Clintons. Enough said.
Following them was inept, inarticulate clown, George W. Bush, who got us into dual wars we did not need, and spent us into a deficit that could only be topped by the present occupant of the White House, another indecent, imperious, disgraceful liar and his equally opprobrious wife. It was George W. Bush who opened the way for Obama. Why Obama bashes him, I will never fathom. If it weren’t for Bush, we might not have Obama.
But Obama didn’t start this mess. He isn’t very smart, just slick. I took many others to lay the ground work. Obama is just the end-game of destruction for our beloved, now almost lost, America.