google goebbels

After months of searching, Google has finally been able to definitively honor the employee that has done the most for them.  He’s a middle level executive with few skills and less ambition, but still, he has contributed more to the wealth of Google than any other employee they have.  Even though he is next to worthless for nearly 315 million Americans, he has always delivered for Google and Google has always delivered for him

In 2008 and 2012, Google gave Obama more money than anyone but Microsoft.  When the Obamacare exchange was attacked by gremlins and goblins, it was Google that stepped forward and rid the website of the pests.  Google’s CEO was very active in Obama’s reelection campaign and was even at Obama’s headquarters on election day, helping to get out the vote.  David Plouffe, one of Obama’s closest election advisers said:

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“On Election Night [Schmidt] was in our boiler room in Chicago.”

Plouffe went on to tell about other help Schmidt gave them saying:

{Schmidt}  “helped recruit talent, choose technology and coach the campaign manager, Jim Messina, on the finer points of leading a large organization.”

The relationship hasn’t been all one sided.  Unlike his Nobel prize and the presidency, Obama has actually earned this.  In 2012 career employees of the FTC wanted to bring Google up on abusive business practices and other infractions of federal law, when suddenly the word came down that the FTC was dropping the investigation over the objections of the investigators, who had gathered evidence against Google.  The FTC decided that owning 67% of the market share and 83% of the mobile share was not a monopoly….much.

Obama’s White House entertained Google executives and lobbyists a total of 230 times, or about once a week.  And what were they pressing for?  Net neutrality, aided by groups funded by George Soros and the Ford Foundation, to the tune of 196 million dollars.  Title II was added to the net neutrality regulations at the request of Google, who knew that the ISP’s would need to be classified as a public utility in order to get it to stand up.

Just days before the regulations were announced, Google read the regulations (No copies were provided to congress, but Google got one) and found 15 pages that they didn’t like, so they had to wait until the FTC removed the pages Google found inconvenient.  Google now stands to make tens of billions in new revenue every year thanks to net neutrality.

Lest you think this ends the unholy partnership, you’re wrong.  As the undisputed king of internet searches, Google has decided to jury rig their search in order to benefit democrats, whom they will need to make sure net neutrality holds up in the future.  They have come up with a plan to try to insure democrats win the 2016 election.  They are developing and will soon put into practice a new system for deciding which articles appear first in the searches.

The new criteria is truth.  And guess who decides what the truth is?  Google.

Congratulations, Barry.  You deserve that award.

Courtesy of Red Statements.